How Do You Court A Man?
by PandoraxBakaNeko
Summary: "I don't care if you're a viscount or the prince of England, I will never allow a lazy, pretentious debauchee, such as yourself, mooch me around just because you said you're a victim of a Sir, if you must, learn to pay your fees to me." she said, leaving him baffled. Based on what happened to the Viscount after the Campania (ViscountxOC)


**How Do You Court A Man?**

_Step 1: The Gift of Cajoling_

"_I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than hear a man swear he loves me." ― William Shakespeare_

Captivated blue orbs glanced down at the great deep cerulean sea underneath her feet, enthralled by its serenity. She pondered at times what kind of world embarks underneath the thrusting waves. Indeed, the sea is truly mysterious and beautiful. But, then again, she wondered why the sudden thought even occurred into her mind. Maybe she just got bored and drifted her reverie at the waterscape. Who would blame the poor girl? She had nothing to do within the day.

She took an act of merriment in swaying her legs while her eyes were still locked within the motionless ripples. Taking a brief look above, evening dawned. Despite this, it was unavoidable to catch the smoky clouds riddled upon the sky. A storm might erupt. With a mild stretch, her fingers donned her bag of groceries and stood from the aged dock, patting her blue coat.

This might turn out to be the worst case. Another rain shower. Would it have been better if the girl bought more wall putty? Patching up a few holes at the roof can be quite bothersome, but it can be convenient at some time. But now, she should pick up the pace before a single drop plummets at the ground. Time was just so cruel to minimize her time by herself and endanger her schedule with industrious feats.

As the maiden continued to pound her mind with troubling thoughts, it came unaware to her that she had stumbled upon something. Or someone. An 'oof'-like sound bellowed as the stranger hovered at the ground. The voice squawked a bit girlishly, but it was deep. Deep enough to be understood that it belonged to a man. From the looks of it, the stranger was also concealed within an old ragged cloak, veiling his face.

A penniless street urchin, perhaps?

He was in a daze, mulling over how drastic of a mess he was in. After that certain event at the Campania, he was left stranded in a foreign area for days, shivering from the cold and deprived of starvation. Do the gods shun him with disdain? To be given with a foul punishment that is a mockery of his name and reputation! He will be a laughingstock in society once he is caught in a state like _this_! To think, that _the _Viscount Aleister Chamber, a man of great power and wealth and a patron of the arts, is now begging for a single penny in a shabby street. This was unacceptable!

"Oh my! Sir, are you alright?"

Has his prayers been answered through this girl in front of him who did not ignore him like the rest?

Two lavender irises then lit with hope. His messiah has come before him to liberate him from his distress. His sanguine gaze was caught by the damsel's colorless image. Though her taste in clothing is terribly bland, she possessed locks of hazel tresses kempt neatly behind her head and a few strands enough to brush her pale face. Dull was the word to describe his good Samaritan. But what gave liveliness upon her petite portrait were her deep meaningful azure eyes, which held a worrisome glance. _A gracious blue sparrow has come to hear my pleas!_

"All is well." Came his reply with a smile.

"What a relief, I thought I did it this time," with a hand placed at her chest, she sighed with ease. Drat! How could she forget the rain! This is no time to act calm and collected! She should take the bus before it's too late! "Well…err, good luck, sir!" she scurried a quick response and darted off.

"W-wait!" No luck. The girl rushed as much as her feet could carry her, she did seem to hurry.

He sighed in disappointment. There go his chances from getting out of this plight…

* * *

The brunette loosened the complicated knot knitted in her ringlet of hair, brown locks cascading just below her shoulders. Rustling her hair with a free hand, she tossed herself towards the couch with drooped shoulders. A curse mumbled in her mind, it wouldn't kill Annie to take care of her own home for once in a while. She had to actually made sure if house itself was secure from all leaks. Unfortunately, she spotted a few holes in the roof that is in need to be taken care of, which she glumly took care of herself. Sadly, she couldn't scold her cousin for treating her house properly since she came to visit her old colleagues from Whitby.

Well, the good thing is that she had the house for herself. Apparently, for a week. That isn't too bad, is it?

A knock resided.

She pushed herself up from the furniture, marching her way towards the door. It's quite odd for a person to knock at someone's doorstep in the middle of a storm. Surely, it couldn't be Annie…she just left yesterday. Her eyes narrowed. Suspicion clouded her thoughts as she slowly intertwined her fingertips at the knob. And what awaits for her behind the mahogany aperture is a…

What?

Shivering from the foul weather, he witnessed an unforeseen sight. Behind the door, a maiden appeared before him, which held a familiar face. A familiar face, indeed. _A damsel traced with flowing locks of chestnut hair and sincere blue eyes. _Bedazzlement twinkled within his eyes. _She must be— _"Ah! Ah! The gracious sparrow clad in deep azure from that fleapit slum!"

A joyous yap echoed through her astounded mind by a youthful man, who possessed an air of enthusiasm. This attempt came about unexpected. And he called her a _what_?

Despite the dankness of his figure, her blue orbs couldn't be blind enough to disregard his lavish lavender eyes and the silken blond tresses that fell down his neck. He seemed hale enough to be not deemed as a beggar, and…it would be most obvious that he is much more of a taller figure than her. He didn't look like a thief, a murderer or a drug addict. Even the sodden attire he wore looked regal and tailor-made with great prowess.

But despite those facts, it wouldn't mean that she'd trust a stranger so easily.

Pondering, she realized that this man's gibble-gabbling is one trait from him which she could not tolerate as he continued to mutter more things about nonsense. "Must this be fate which brought us together for you to liberate this humble patrician, such as myself, from this atrocity of a night?" _What an overly exaggerated phrase. Is this man for real?_ What was that word again which she could describe him…ah, yes, he was becoming _annoying_. Maybe, she shouldn't have mistaken him for not being a drug addict because he acted like he took in marijuana.

Ignoring his melodramatic response, she asked, "Is there any business you have here, sir?"

The blond aristocrat flashed his dashing smile. "With your permission, it is my deepest wish to stay in your humble abode for the night."

"A while ago, you said you were a noble." The brunette replied dubiously.

"I am. A viscount presumably."

Her brow curved. "Then why are you _here_? You must have a huge, fancy mansion and servants, why not go back there?"

An anguished sigh escaped out of his lips as the back of his hand paced itself on top of his forehead, giving him an image of a damsel in distress. What a drama queen. "As you can see…I am left penniless and unaware of my surroundings due to a misfortunate event that happened at the Campania? Have you heard of it?" he glanced at the seemingly unconvinced maiden.

"Unfortunately, news spreads here slowly." She lied. It could be possible that he could have lied as well. From what she heard from Annie, the Campania was a luxury passenger ship that was supposed to head to America. Sadly, it was said to have hit an iceberg and sank, never arriving to its destination. There was also a report of the many lives that have died because of that incident so…what made him so fortunate to survive from that? "Sir, if you don't―"

"Do you live alone?" her brow rose in suspicion. Such a strange topic to bring about. "Is there a need to know?"

"It was just a question."

"I live with my elder_ brother_." She replied falsely. He _had_ to leave to wherever he belonged to.

"Oh, what is this so-called _brother's _name?" he responded back, somewhat skeptical.

"James."

"Then, what―"

"― Sir, I must warn you that it is of utmost importance you _leave_," she warned, hoping he'll get out of the porch of the house. His soggy clothes are making the floorboards wet. _Well_, she was in charge of the house for a reason. "For my _brother_ isn't most tolerable with strangers."

"Will you let me introduce myself to this _brother_ of yours? Maybe he could take mercy in this situation of mine." He said humbly with a gloved hand at his chest.

_Persistent. _The maiden was running out of lies from his replies. But, she should get this over with. "Do you dare? If you must know, my _brother_ mangled the last stranger he had an unpleasant encounter with and that unfortunate person had to go home with a fractured leg and broken spirit. The time I remembered it, that person turned into a spluttered mess. Quite sickening how it ended, rather," she twisted her words, hoping to get him frightened from the bottom of his feet. Stretching the truth can be most useful at times. Then there was a slight nervousness rupturing his face.

Hehe…so he did fell for it. The maiden smirked inwardly once she saw him cringe from that little white lie. No, rather that big fat lie. His face was priceless as if he tried to ignore how gruesome her statement was. There was a thought that even occurred to her that if she managed to shoo him away, she will reward herself after. "If I could say so myself, he is quite a brute man. Do you still insist on meeting him, sir?"

He gulped, wiping off the forming beads of sweat from his forehead with a timorous smile. "O-of course."

_What! _The gaiety she felt was replaced with utter vexation. She tried to suppress the urge to slander the deranged stranger out of the house. Damn, can't he take a hit? She doesn't want him anywhere near the house, especially near _her_. If he ever did try to say another absurd statement, she swore she'll break his nose. "Permission denied. Leave." She spoke, chafed.

His coaxing expression dropped into a bewildered face, slight panic was seen through his eyes. "What? Why?"

_Damn. Did he have to ask? _"He…he is, you can't speak with him for the moment," her voice croaked an unreasonable answer. "I assure you, he is in a terrible mood―"

"― Do you even _have_ an elder brother?" he mused, leaving the maiden caught in surprise.

Putting her hands in her hips, she backlashed, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"You do not wish to introduce me to him which would mean you _are_ lying." An amused smile played his lips.

"He hates strangers."

"Ah, yes, yes," his hand waved dismissively as if he wanted to get over the topic of their conversation with a beguile smile, leaning near the maiden. "Then is he here by any chance?"

Her brow twitched. "In all due respect, _sir_, I will not permit you to meet him nor are you allowed to set foot in this house. Leave. _Now._" Utter abhor was heard from her _polite_ words, resisting the attempt of hitting him squarely at the face. About to shut the door to his disappointment, she was muddled as he scooted his now dirtied yet custom made ballroom shoe in the gap of her door, preventing it from ever closing.

The brunette continued to pursue on sealing the door shut as she tightened her grip at the knob, but his stubbornness was preventing her fulfill her intentions. His hands then executed its way at the edge of the door, prying it open. He hoped for his petitions to reach her, but, unfortunately, he was very wrong about that. "Wait a moment! Blue sparrow―"

"― Unhand the door, sir, or I will take this as an offense in trespassing." She interrupted abruptly, not bothering on listening to his pleas. Her foot then stomped on his shoe grudgingly while he released a pained grunt, forcing him to slide it off the gap.

"But, if you could only―"

"No."

She slammed the door shut, locking it until it was finally secure from that imbecile of a man. A deep sigh resided her lips. That event earlier burdened her with a terrible headache. Now all she wanted was a good night's rest. Too exhausted to head towards her room, she slumped herself at the soft couch, drifting herself into an endless repose. _What a bothersome night…_

* * *

"Unbelievable, what a very stubborn man indeed." She muttered with an unimpressed glance. When she was about to take a short morning stroll at the damp outdoors, she finds the very same bum, who gave her a dreadful headache last night, curled up and sleeping at the wooden floorboards within the house's porch.

What will she do now? Surely, he might not leave her alone. She can always call the authorities but…no matter how irritating that feeling is, she somewhat pitied the poor man. Well, he did look harmless _enough_…no, he looked more like a moron who did not know what to do. And it was not actually impossible that he _could _have been telling the truth. She was fortunate that Annie won't return for a week because she might, unfortunately, consider on taking responsibility for this idiot. But if he bothered doing something strange, she _will_ call the authorities on him. _He can always pay me in helping me with the shop…_

* * *

**A/N: I don't know if this story was any good or if I got the Viscount in character at least (**_**I bet not**_**). So please, answer my question! Is my OC a mary-sue? (**_**Oh, damn she must be, I knew it! HAHAHAHA! Now I can go start digging a grave for myself and rot! -insert weeping in shame-**_**) Gosh, I fail at humor too! **

**Well now, I'll consider this as a one-shot, but I dunno if I'll continue…**

**If I just did any good, please just give me a review! I would appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.**


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